The Emancipation of Princess Pereira

I’m gonna miss…

you holding my hand protectively whilst we cross the street…
coming home to your ‘cave’ after work…
our lazy weekends together…
your lingering scent on me…
waking up beside you and watching you sleep soundly like a child…
kissing your forehead and telling you "I love you"…
lying on your chest and hearing your heartbeat…
you wrapping your arms around me firmly in a big bear hug…
your soft kisses all over me…
the way your brown eyes twinkle with sanctity when you smile…
your dad’s ‘mouth-watering’ cooking without a doubt…
playing with baby Sarah and teaching her to say "I love you"…
watching you play with baby Sarah [you really are awesome with her!]…
hearing your family share stories about your childhood days…
you teasing me endlessly about anything and everything…
the way you seem to easily charm everyone into adoring you…
everyone telling me what a sweetheart you are…
the shy little boy that emerges unsuspectingly within you…
you goofing around mischievously just to get me to lighten up…
the way you huskily whisper "I love you" in my ear…
Elvis missing Julie…
your stud…
Elvis…
you…

I’m gonna miss my ’selah orang’!

I may not be the girl whom you first loved…and I may not be the girl you made a scrapebook for but I am the girl who will bear witness to your life’s precious moments. I will be the girl who will be the mother of your adorable children. I will be the girl whom you will grow old with and I will be the girl whom you say "I do" to…

…because "I do".

When you slipped the ring on my finger, I saw the lustrous glow of the candles, smelt the white lilies and heard you whispered "I love you"- all at once. It was such a quixotic moment- one that I shall remember as long as fate allows me to.

Thank you…

Thank you for allowing me into your life…and into your heart.
Thank you for showing me what it feels like to genuinely love and to be loved in return.
Thank you for sharing with me your days- the good ones, the bad and all the rest in between.
Thank you for accepting me on my good days, my bad and all the rest in between.
Thank you for teaching me about life’s lessons- I always learn something new from you each day.
Thank you for believing in me…and giving me the fortitude to believe in myself.
Thank you for being a trustworthy companion first and foremost…and my significant other secondly.
Thank you for being my Prince Wales!

And I thank Him everyday for you…for giving me the opportunity to dislike you when we first met at Mark’s wedding in 2003, the opportunity to rectify my previous decision and prove me dead wrong when you entered our circle of friends, the opportunity to be ‘part of you’ that unexpected night in 2004, the opportunity to heal your wounds and rescue you from the snares of loneliness, the opportunity to deepened the friendship we had cultivated whilst celebrating my 23rd at Bintan, the opportunity to then save me from the depths of my own despair, the opportunity of one too many shots downed followed by the opportunity of an intense soul-baring session on 11.12.05, the opportunity of being true to myself and following my heart on the eve of Christmas last year , the opportunity of being asked to spend the rest of my life with you on your 25th birthday this year…and the opportunity to be able see that breathtaking opportunity through come our special day next…

Can’t hardly wait… …

Well, you can slap me in the face. You can scream profanity at my ears. You can try and use my weaknesses against me to trash my image. You can publicise your hatred about me for all the world to read. You can tie to the bed and try and stone me half to death. You can shoot me in the leg just to try to make me beg and you can leave me there for days. You can stick me in a hole and you can pray all day for rain to drown me. You can dig me up a grave and try and bury me in the ground. You can leave me there to die alone but you can never keep me down because…I’ll be singing "Amen! I’m alive!"

You won’t kill me but from the bottom of my heart, I thank you. I thank you for making me stronger and for showing me what it feels like to be the last one standing. If everyone cared and nobody cried, if everyone loved and nobody lied and if everyone shared and swallowed their pride, I trust we’d have the day when nobody died. The place I am at now is the place I’ve dreamt of for a long time since I was a child and it’s sad to know you cannot comprehend it enough to share it with me.

If I could relieve those days, I know the one thing that would never change. Those times in my life will live with me forever but we’re not the same people now that we were before. I am ready to close this chapter of my life and relish in the beginning of many new chapters to come. I’ll take only the good memories with me, leave the rotten ones behind because that’s how I would like to remember you and be remembered by. Like a stone in a stream, life will smoothe all our edges ’til we barely make a ripple.

Is it getting better or do you feel the same?
Will I make it easier on you now that you got someone to blame?
Did I disappoint you or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
You act like you never had Love and you want me to go without.
Well, it’s too late tonight to drag the past out into the light.
Have you come here for forgiveness?
Have you come to raise the dead?
Have you come here to play Jesus to the lepers in your head?
Did I ask too much…more than a lot?
You gave me nothing, now He’s all I’ve got.
I can’t be holding on to what you got when all you got is…hurt for me.

I got to do what I should…

It really is funny how from simple things, the best things begin…

It all started over coffee…and that question you asked me. That particular question that kept resurfacing in my mind everytime we met. Somehow, I sorta guessed it all along but I didn’t dare to be presumptuous. I was afraid. What if I was wrong? What if it was someone else? I couldn’t take the hints any longer and one night when we were out and after one too many ‘blowjobs’ (F.Y.I., that’s the drink, NOT the ‘act’…you Pverts!), I decided to confront you…that fateful night that you bared your heart and soul to me.

I was stupefied. I mean, you think you know everything but you really don’t. You thought nothing could ever happened given the circumstances and so did I…for a bit. I couldn’t pretend that we could still be friends because it seemed that we have advanced into a whole new terrain- one that is fulfilling and yet, risky. I told you I needed time to think and if it’s all meant to be, it will be…cliched but true. I knew if you can’t walk the talk, don’t talk the walk…so on 24th dec ‘05, I decided to ‘walk the talk’…with you and I have not looked back since.

Everything you are…is everything to me. Babe, you found me when no one else was looking. How did you know just where I would be? You broke through all of my turmoil, my ups and downs and you still didn’t leave. I never thought that Love could feel like this. You changed my world with just one revelation. You are the lingering scent on my skin, the smile in my eyes, the kiss on my lips. I have never been kissed, never been touched, never been held so dearly the way I have when I’m with you. I have never truly felt Love till you came into my life…and into my heart. I guess you saw what nobody could see…the good and the bad…and all the things in between when you found me. I have been genuinely blessed with a loving family, supportive friends and…you, my prince. I have got all I’ve waited for and truly, a princess could not ask for more.

Love is…kisses with you on the beanbag chair.
Love is…waking up to see your face in the morning light.
Love is…holding me in your arms after we made passionate love.
Love is…whispering "I love you" when you awake.
Love is…the way your lips seem to curve when you say my name.
Love is…drying my tears when I cry.
Love is…the only thing that keeps me sane.
Love is…a rainbow on a rainy morning.
Love is…saying "sorry" when you have hurt your loved one.
Love is…forgiving the misgivings of your loved one.
Love is…the simple pleasures we share with each other.
Love is…knowing I’ll stand by you come what may.
Love is…the good friend I’ve fallen hard for.
Love is…the wonderful other half he has turned out to be.
Love is…you, my Prince Wales.