the boulevard of broken dreams…no longer
Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found;
Was blind, but now I see…
‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed…
-John Newton
When you come to terms with what your destiny is to be, only then will you be able to embrace it fully…
I have been fighting the truth for so long, refusing that the heavens could shine on me for once. All my life, though I strived for excellence, everything usually falls at the threshold of mediocrity and the fire that used to raged within me slowly but surely burns out…and then everything is still and silent like a ghost town.
And this is NOT to say.."You’re incomplete!" or "You’re not whole!"…
But somehow along with the accustomed events, every thing becomes so mundane. I fall into some utterly banausic routine. I give up pondering on finding the successful job, the person I want to grow old with, the sole existence of my earthly life…basically, I just give up pondering!! Too energy-consuming, I decide…
Then by some stroke of luck, things start to perk up. My eyes are now wide open, my walk has a distinct bounce to it, I sit up straighter, I catch a whiff of that brewing, hot cuppa java…and boy, does it smell good! My tummy growls and suddenly I start to hunger for the things I once craved for!
Power?
Love?
Self-discovery?
My senses have somehow been awaken. Who? How? Why? The real question is, does it even matter?
I was alive once and then, I died. Now after being resurrected, the feeling though overwhelming, is definitely a welcome relief from socializing with the zombies of yesteryear.
I sigh.
I laugh.
I weep.
I stand there in the rain, soaking wet to the bone with my arms outstretched to the empyrean as if to say, Thank you! All I needed was You to feel again. Thank you for breathing life into my once effervescent soul! Thank you for never abandoning me…Thank you.
And all but once, the tune of Amazing Grace seeps from my heart, pumping renewed life into my veins. Ah truly…You are the blessed one! I have not seen but believed..having felt Your touch, Your presence, Your light… …
When you come to terms with what your destiny is to be, only then will you be able to embrace it fully and after having embraced it, I never want to live in the place I used to be at…
…the boulevard of broken dreams!
