The Emancipation of Princess Pereira

1st it was Denise & Charlie, then came Heather & Richie. Now the 3rd couple to follow suit, Carmen & Dave…are calling it quits in the marital world. What’s happening? Don’t the vows they make at the altar mean anything to them..mean anything to anyone at all these days? Is it just some mumbo-jumbo they mumble one to another just so they can screw each other officially, legally, morally…?

Why is it that some people propose marriage to their partner but they are still blatantly ’sowing their wild oats in various fields’? And to say "I do" to one another only to continue their infidelity throughout the marriage? Why not be a bachelor (or a bachelorette) and screw as many people as your lustful heart desires?

This way, you are not bounded by any sort of commitment and no ones gets hurt in your whoring process. Why bother getting married in the 1st place, starting a family and then ruin it with a long string of affairs? Why do people do such things? Someone…anyone…please just enlighten my mind.

So many questions…

…I just need an answer.

My cousin forwarded the article below to me and I thought as act of generousity (by spreading the stupidity), I shall post it up here for everyone to read and have a good chuckle afterwards. Have an awesome weekend ahead..for I know I will be! Can’t wait for my surprises tomorrow, Bebe! Counting down the seconds till I receive them…

In honour of Stupid People…
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer- "Do not use while sleeping." [but why?? that's the only time I have to work on my hair!]

On a bag of Fritos- "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." [the munchies that attracts the shoplifters kind...]

On a bar of Dial soap- "Directions: Use like regular soap." [so how exactly does one uses regular soap, i wonder..]

On some Swanson frozen dinners- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." [but...it's just a suggestion, right?]

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom)- "Do not turn upside down." [oh really, you don't say!!!]

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding- "Product will be hot after heating." [you mean it doesn't freeze up or something?? damnit!]

On packaging for a Rowenta iron- "Do not iron clothes on body." [crap! it would have been a huge time-saver!!]

On Nytol Sleep Aid- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." [no shit, sherlock!]

On most brands of Christmas lights- "For indoor or outdoor use only." [as opposed to what??]

On Sainsbury’s peanuts- "Warning: contains nuts." [gee! talk about a major news flash..]

On an American Airlines packet of nutz- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." [then what happens after that? poop time?]

On a child’s Superman costume- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." [i blame the parents and not the company for this one..]

On a Swedish chainsaw- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." [ohhh, that explains the swedes' small hands and...ermmm non-existent anatomy at their southern regions. finally, the mystery has been concluded!]

"Blessed are the cracked; For it they who let in the light."

"…Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail, their failure must be but a challenge to others."

                                                                       -Amelia Earhart

The below article was taken from ST a couple days back. See my retorts in purple.

Happy reading!

Ten ways to get over your World Cup hangover:

1. Wear your favourite team jersey to bed for the next 6 months. okay but can I have Cannavaro to bed instead?…and maybe Kaka…and C. Ronaldo…*grins*

2. Rerun the reruns and watch them over and over again. what?? and watch France kick my Brazil out AGAIN???!!!

3. Marry an Italian and talk about Italy’s win for years. yeah but after awhile, their big egos would simple bore me to death. i’ll settle for marrying an Irish instead…*winks*

4. Hang on for the English Premier League (EPL) to start. whatever for?? C. Ronaldo won’t be in it!! crap!!!

5. Watch the S-League if you can’t wait for the EPL. why? is C. Ronaldo playing for the Lions now?

6. Pick up another game to go nuts over - check out your neighbourhood Paper-Boat-In-Drain World Cup. how about getting your partner to ’score’ the most goals…in bed, if you get my drift..

7. Change your name to Klinsmann Tan, Lampard Lim, Schweinsteiger Ong, Park-Ji-Sung Cheong etc so that you can always be reminded of the tournament. Mary Cannavaro? Mary C. Ronaldo? Mary…Wales? yes definitely, the latter! ahahaha

8. Go to Germany, stand in the middle of the road and shout Goaaallll! very loudly. will Cannavaro be there to shout along with me?

9. Buy the World Cup National Anthems DVD box set. and do what with it? play it whilst having sex?? hmmm..not a bad idea, if your partner’s gonna be ’scoring’ goals in bed…

10. Aiyah, just go out and kick a ball, lah. i’m already 1 step ahead of you, dude…i do that everyday!!!

When I feel everything in my life’s in a mess
And I can’t lift my head up above the rest
When all I touch I can’t hold on to
I do what you always tell me to-
"Cover your eyes and try to picture me, baby"

When the storm has broken
You’ll be waiting for me
When the big wave crashes
You’ll be swimming alongside me
When the war is finally over
We’ll be waving the flag at the world together
I know you’ll be the last man standing with me

They can say all they want about you…and me…and about us but till they get inside our minds…and our hearts, they will never figure us out. They can try all they want to bring us down with their words  but they won’t succeed because we know we are stronger than that. They are entitled to their own opinions and we’re entilted to ours. So let them persecute our relationship till the cows come home…but it’ll just be you and me, standing stronger together against this cynical society. And who cares about the having the world when I can have you…

…and it’s you that I truly want, my prince!